The FIFA World Cup starts this week, with 48 teams of ball-kickers battling to win a big golden trophy.
At Dice Company, we care more about D&D than VAR (of which more later).
But – whether you love football/soccer or would simply like to understand what all the fuss is about – we’ve got you covered.
Here are the key points of football and the World Cup, explained in TTRPG terms.
What is the World Cup?
The World Cup is a sort of Blood Bowl (or perhaps Wrestle Hoop) in which teams from every corner of the planet try to kick a ball of inflated plastic into a rectangle of metal defended by opposing nations.
Each team has 11 players, one of whom – known as the goalkeeper – has a Special Ability. He’s allowed to touch the ball with his hands, but only inside his lair (known as the 18-yard box). Everyone else has to bounce the ball off their feet, knees, head… basically anything but the hands.
The competition dispatches less powerful teams early in the six-week dungeon crawl, leaving the overpowered nations to clash in so-called “knockout” games – after which the loser goes home.
Eventually, the Boss Fight – known as the final – takes place on 19 July in New York. Having defeated all opponents, the winning team gets the treasure: the World Cup.
Why do footballers fall over so much?
To non-expert eyes, this may look like a footwear or inner-ear issue, but in fact footballers must “roll for deception” repeatedly throughout the game.
The idea is to convince the referee – a sort of GM/DM – that they have been illegally assaulted, and that other players should be punished or even forced to leave the table.
If a player is caught deceiving the referee, they can face punishment themselves. But this rarely happens – as in TTRPGs, calling people out for cheating is awkward for everyone. Maybe just don’t invite them next week.
What is VAR?
VAR stands for the Video Assistant Referee. Knowing about VAR – and having a VERY strong opinion – will secure you an invite to all future office conversations about football.
It was introduced because, like GM/DMs, referees sometimes make mistakes. In TTRPGs, they can usually style it out. But football referees exist under constant, impossible levels of scrutiny.
So VAR is another referee, who watches the game on a TV screen and can chip in to help his on-field colleague.
Many football fans don’t love it. It’s like the DM consulting the official rule book and spending about 20 minutes trying to work out the technically correct decision. Meanwhile, everybody sits around, bored out of their minds, waiting for something to happen.
What’s a penalty shootout?
If a game ends with the scores equal, the teams play another half an hour (called extra time). If there’s still no winner, they go to a penalty shootout.
Players take turns to kick the ball at the goal from 12 yards, with a goalkeeper trying to use their intelligence and wisdom to guess where the ball is going, and their strength and dexterity to stop it crossing the line.
This is the football equivalent of that dice roll you MUST NOT FAIL – if you score, you’re a hero, the world is saved. If you miss, you’re doomed.
Which team should I support?
Curaçao. They’re the pluckiest of plucky adventurers making their first foray into a dangerous world.
🎲🎲🎲
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